Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Moving and Birthing


It’s hard to dismiss the idea that Krista and I are in the midst of what could be the biggest moments that will forever define our marriage. Specifically the arrival of junior (still don’t know if it’s a junior Krista or a junior Angus yet) and the purchase of the Scenic Acres house. These are heady times.

With the TR6 at Tony’s becoming pretty, I could finally relax enough to develop a fairly debilitating cold. This happened at the exact same moment Krista and I took possession of the new house and started our birthing class (what 80’s and 90’s sit-coms would call “Lamaze Class”).

The house side of things is going well although we’ve been dealing with some pretty horrifying weather of late that has put me behind on getting the garage to a level that it can receive the TR6. One of the first things I want to do is epoxy the floor. Before I can do that I needed to remove a wall and a home-made shelving unit. The wall was to indicate which side of the garage was for the husband’s woodworking toys and which side was for the Miss’ SUV.

In the worlds of Homey the Clown: “Homey don’t play that game”. I’ve have liberated the garage from its emasculating wall and even peed in a few corners to mark that a man has returned to this garage.

Apparently sometime in the history of this garage there was a sale on heavy-duty plastic-covered hooks. In the last week I have removed no less than seventy-four hooks from the walls and roof of the interior walls of this garage. The garage was originally finished to the point that it was prepped for paint. That was 1991 so it’s backslid since then. Not the least reason being there are now seventy-four holes that need to be mudded. Budget permitting – on top of epoxy-ing I hope to paint the garage. Like the TR6 room I need to get this to a level where I want to be out there. I don’t do “Man Caves” that’s another of those words for the highly-over-domesticated but this will be a place men will like to be.

Speaking of over-domesticated my newest annoyance is our weekly child birth class. As of today Krista and have attended two with four more to go. I may not make it all the way through.

My brother Neal went through this a year ago and told be me a funny story. His class had a lot of boyfriends as father’s and between the first and second class the population of boyfriends in attendance dropped by 100% – only husbands remained.

The woman teaching the class is like one of those people who hit the game winning homerun in high school and never got over that moment - except change “homerun” to “give birth” and you’ve got the picture. Since then it’s been her life’s work to teach this class. In my personal spectrum she ranges from barely tolerable to bat-shit insane.

She also leans heavy on forced socialization as a teaching strategy. If you think that was annoying in junior high it’s real annoying at thirty-two. Other than the fact that eight months ago we all got laid, me and the rest of these husbands have very little in common. When not getting paid to do so I struggle to participate in awkward conversations.

This upcoming weekend Krista and I are officially moving in – so that’s exciting. We have some family and friends helping – and to boot it’s my thirty-second birthday on Saturday. Maybe I’ll go take my Driver’s test again?

Stay Tuned…

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